Never thought I'm such a softy

On Wednesday I went to school only to make some tests. After that I felt I need to talk with someone, who could know how to make things better. I choosed the teacher I trust and like the most. First I spoke about what happend in the shop.
"Do they have a right to search my bag without a reason?"
"No, no they don't"I talked more abot it, how bad I felt and stuff and then, oh shit, it got so emotional, that I almost burst into tears. My voice was friking weird :D
"It's okay, you can cry. We have time." 
She was so nice. Luckily I managed to hold it back. Only few tears. That wasn't even a big deal. When little things bug me that much, then what happens with bigger ones'?
"I wanna do something about it so it will never happen again with me or with anybody else. Can I do something?"
Yes yes yes!! She said she will call to the boss of that shop and ask why they did it. It's obviously not good for the shop either that the cashier did it. They will loose customers. I'm never gonna go back there. I even don't wanna see the shop anymore, cause it will only remind me the humiliation. And probably the people I have told about it, would feel also weird beeing there. When they have a bag, then I think their gonna hesitate going in there. Next week I'm gonna hear what happend.
After that I told to teacher the other problem that's been bugging me. Much more important than the shop insident. AND OH MY GOD, I had to fight with bursting into tears again. What the hell is wrong with me? I didn't think I am so soft. Anyway I got help. She said what should I do.
"After you have done it, please tell me, how did it go and if it worked, okay? I wanna be sure, that everything works out. If it don't help we're gonna figure out something else."
I love her! I'm not just a work for her, like students mostly are for teachers. She really cares about her pupils.
Then I had to go. I took a look in the mirror. Gosh! My chest was filled with big red blots, like I had some rash. When I was on the bus, I discoverd that my heart was still beating out of my chest. I'm so not used to talk about my problems and feelings.


Now I'm in Estonia. At my older sister's home. Love it here. My little niece counted days till my arrival. We did a lot of stuff together. She wanted me to paint a picture with watercolours. I told my sis that my guy is black (I told it to my granny too and she said "Oh my God!" :D I love seeing the reaction of ppl. They are not used to with different ppl) and she was bugging me after that.
"Have you kissed with him? Have you had sex with him?"
And so on.. When I was painting the picture for my niece, sister said to her taughter:
"Do you wanna see Eveli's boyfriend? Let her draw you him."
Challenge accepted! I started to paint and my niece said:
"You can use this to do the face." and guess what colour she was pointing? :D WHITE.
"No dear, she can't use it." said my sis.
I started with the face. My niece looked it and asked:
"What's that?"
"It's his face." I answered.
"Why is it brown?" she was confused.
My sis said to her: "Yeah, sweetie, why is it so? You should know why. Eveli will explain you."
Felt like a society lesson. I said: "He has a different nationality. He's from Africa."
Guess it came into her mind, "A NIGGA!" she said with a cute smile. She was happy, that she knew it.
Just to clear it up, even though "nigga" is politically incorrect word, it's mostly not a swearword in Estonia. At least I haven't ever used it as an insult. There just doesn't find a good word for black people. In estonian it is "neeger". It's simple and mostly doesn't have a bad meaning. Of course there finds some stupid jealous ppl who says bad things about black ppl, some skinheads, who use that word as a swearword, but still.. Why is it inappropriate in the first place? I'm gonna ask that question later to google.

That's what I painted. Sorry, I'm not an artist.