Heart sings

Miss Wanna Be Single is in love and enjoying it. Didn't see that coming, huh. :D Didn't ask for it. Yeah, I did wish that sth good would happen, but nothing like that. And it's growing and growing and growing till it explodes, breaks and disappears. Haha, just kidding. I'm not saying it's forever, it's not even what I expected to have one day, but I'm friking enjoying it.

The Dalai Lama, when asked what surprised him most about humanity, answered “Man. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money. Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.”

I don't wanna be like that. I'm terrified of getting old and regret letting my youth slip through my fingers. Terrified of wasting my life. Actually now I'm back in the point when I just live and wait to be free again. No plans, no responsibilities. I wanna do sth unusual, insane. Like my girl Cherry. Go and explore. Not now. Not yet. I found a feeling I wasn't supposed to find yet. Right kind of wrong. It feels so damn good. I don't even care anymore that I don't have true friends here. I got my old one's and I sure don't need to replace 'em. I don't care that I don't go out to have some fun, that I'm sitting home most of the time. There just aren't noone here, I wanna go out with. I got some good things going on and that's enough. People always want more instead of appreciate good things they have. Stupid!

My dad is coming here in Sweden. I'm so curious about what this will lead to. If my life is boring, I can spice it up with other's drama :D Daddy, be ready to see colours. I'm sure he will get rid of his stupid opinion about black and arabic ppl. He has no other choice.. Who knows.. since I love colours, he may have little chocolate grandchildren one day. :D We'll see about that.

My sis told me few days ago that there's no point to live. That life on the planet is pointless. No suicidal thought, but just.. she explained her thoughts pretty good. Even though I disagreed, I felt so down in the evening, 'cause I couldn't come up with any objection. Yes, I love life. But I don't have any reason why it's good that I live :D What if there was nothing? No life. Just emptyness.. I feel sorry for my sis, 'cause she always have those creepy ideas. She thinks too much.