Feel down

I so don't like guys who only talk about sex and how good I look in a very cheap way. It's really not working. I'm not just a peace of meat, dude. And I despise stupid guys. What else I don't like? Expecting too much from some ppl. The bad part is when they aren't up to my expectations, when they don't care enough even though they should... I wan't all or nothing. Ignorance is the worse! Eventually I stop expecting and hoping. I back off. Sooner or later I'll get over the disappointment by stop caring about the person so much. I won't feel bad anymore, but I won't also ever forget the shitty feeling. So don't suppose to get my everything, when you're giving less. What you give is what you get.

I'm used to look back on good memories or fantasize and daydream when I'm in bed. It keeps me happy. I woke up crazy early today. My free morning and I'm up about 6am. I din't want to get up, so I just laied there. A lot of time for thinking. I suddenly remembered how I slept over somewhere with Cherry. The house was pretty big and the basement was „a mysterious place“ where we weren't allowed to go. We were laying on the bed under the blanket, chatting and all. Then we started to talk about scary stuff. It was dark and painfully quiet. Oh shit, how scared we were. Stupid, I know. Anyway we fall asleep, holding each other's hands. When I woke up, we were still holding hands. Man, I miss my girls! Sleepovers and stuff. Hope you know that I love you.

After rememorizing it, I started to think about other cute things. The more I thought, the better I felt. I'm alive! 

Everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for. Life is too short to waste it on people who don't care about you.