Guess what it is. First it makes each and one of us become a shopaholic. We also are almost addicted to cleaning, because of it. Then it makes us watch movies, that we have already seen hundred times and listen songs that aren't even our cup of tea. Finally it gives us food pregnancy and get's lost. It's CHRISTMAS!!
Christmas Eve was actually really cool. My lil bro handed out presents. "You can sit on my lap too, if you don't have a poem or song.". Little pal, you wouldn't survive it! Before christmas I made clear if he believes in Santa or not. I had to do it, 'cause he wanted more and more presents. "Santa don't need money. Santa has dwarfs." Well, the real Santa actually needs money.. And I got to know, he's not a believer. He knows exactly where the presents come from, he was just pretending. Sneaky little ones. At the end he bought everybody something (with my money btw :D). When Krista opend the one he got her, he added "I got it for 10 krones from Karlsson.". Hhaha, epic!
The warmest christmas I've ever had. I was so scared that this place gonna turn into Alaska or something. It actually looks like it's getting ready for spring already. Went running the day after christmas and gonna do it again today. Cause I can :D
What I've been feeling for past weeks, is not good at all. Feel like nothing. Sometimes I wanna do bad things, 'cause even the bad is better than nothing. I'm 20 after 5 months and where have I got? nowhere... Yep, I've learned swedish. Yep, I have a job. Yep, I have friends. Yep, I have bf. I have quite everything. I'm still not happy. I'm a big zero. I know swedish, but to get a better job, I gotta learn so many years, that when I finish, I'm kind of old. My crappy job is only on Wednesday and Friday, so I'm not sure if I make enough money to be able to pay a little rent to my mom and still have enough to enjoy life. My really good friends are far. The people I know here aren't that close. My bf.. good but complicated. I don't need men, I need friends. I really miss girl-talk. I wanna be productive. At the moment it feels like I'm more waiting than creating. I wanna make more out of my life, just don't know how. And I'm sick of thinking, that it will all get better in time. Sick of waiting. Time to act.
Yesterday was nice. Some friends came over. My lil bro had also a friend at us. We all danced. Evening ended up with talking about relationships. Even though I didn't tell nothing about mine, it was so what I needed! Girl talk with guys :D Intresting. And they broke my bed :D:D
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