Sometimes we are attracted to things that we don't like.

My attempt to fall asleep failed so I decided that it's more reasonable to chill on the computer than to lay down in bed for hours and force myself to fall asleep. Doesn't work AT ALL. I'm so intensed lately. Most of time nervous and anxious which makes me act like a bitch. Don't like it at all. Yesterday I took 2 sleeping pills IN THE MORNING :D Sure, why not. It eases up emotional stuff. It seems like I have problems, but I DON'T! Life is treating me good. And I am happy. Right now even more than other times. With pretty much no reason. There doesn't need to be a reason for feeling bad or feeling good. It's just all what we let us feel. Let the inside world control the outside world. 

Have you discovered a song that you become so addicted that you put it on again and again and again and when you try to listen some other song, the other ones almost disgusts us 'cause it's not the awesome song you wanna listen over again? My addiction is that one:

Listening it makes me so calm and... HAPPY. It's so good to listen it, close my eyes and imagine where I wanna be, what I wanna do and with who. Sometimes imagining things seems so real. Sometimes they are good enough. Like.. I can have all I want without actually having them. Dreaming is good enough.

 I discovered a pretty awesome thing called body rocking. It's a fitness training. Or sth like that. I've done it for few days now and gotta say it works. And doing those exerzises makes me laugh, 'cause I start to think of those teaching videos that looks kind of like porn videos :D Just listen that accent and see "the stuff".

Best thing about new years eve was probably songs my lil bro made. We just got an electrical quitar and he feels himself like a real musician already :D Something from his song that he made for me: "Min syster är kär i Christhopher. Jag undrar hur mycket barn de få. Min syster är den snyggaste tjej." In english it's: "My sister is in love with Christhopher. I wonder how many kids they are going to have. My sister is the hottest girl.". Guess which part I liked the most? Kids, kids, kids!! Please! Maybe my having-kids-nightmares are the reasone I can't fall asleep. Just don't wanna see another one. In my dream-world I must be a skank, 'cause all my dream-kids seems to have different dads. AWESOME! I love kids, but don't wanna have them in so young age.



First time in my life I am a taxpayer! Weird that I'm excited and so happy about it. I clean offices... and toilets:D... which actually isn't that bad at all.  I kind of like my job. I'm getting money :D And people are giving me respect. And I give myself respect.

I guess I love my life...