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pühapäev, 17. aprill 2011

I wanna run run runaway

Sunday I went to work as always. 4 and a half hours with green onions. Fun fun fun :D I would have been there longer, but my sister needed me to babysit her taughter. After work I visited my father, who lives near to the greenhouse, where I work. He's unbelievably sweet. He bought me a nice jacket and a digital SKIPPING ROPE from Finland. It's really one of the strangest thing :D Yesterday I tried it out. I jumped a thousand times. Good, that granny wasn't at home. Neighbours probably think I'm weird because of all that whipping and stuff. My granny has been in the hospital for over a week and I've become really paranoid. When someone knockes on the door, I try to be as quiet, as I can and pretend that noone is home. Some of those people, my granny knows, freaks me out. Especially those, who drink too much. Beside that, 3 drinkers live in the same staircase. One night, when I went jogging, I stumbled upon a man who was sleeping in the corridor. There were pitch-dark so obviously I scared the hell out of me. When I went back home, he was still there... Why do we have to live in the same house with those people? That's not normal!
Back to my dad now. When I saied him bye, he huged me and said that he loves me. U probably think that's no big deal. I think I haven't ever heard him say that. Anyway I was really touched :)



I'm in love




with a guy I saw in my dreams :D I was thinking that a dream-relationship would be a great thing :D Hopefully someone invents a way to control dreams, so everyone could see in their dreams, what they want. Wouldn't it be great?!


I've been reading a lot of books lately:
* "My America" by Epp Petrone
* "My America2" by Epp Petrone
* "My Argentina" by Liis Kängsepp
* "My Columbia" by Ave Ungro
* "Heroine of the desert" by Donya Al-Nahi
* "Sold" by Zana Muhsen
I like them all, and I really suggest you to read them. Especially the bottom 2 books. I'm addicted to books :D I'm planning to read all "My..."-series :D 2 bottom books are especially good. Those books are all based by a true story.


I feel so bad. "To be, or not to be" is the famous question. It seems to me, that theres no reason "to be". Everything I do, I do wrong. First my granny. I didn't visit her at first and she made me believe I'm a careless person. Then I wrote first time a comment in ekool (an Internet site, where is all school stuff like marks, homework, events and so on), that made a lot of teachers angry for no reason. They misunderstood and thought the worse. Now I wrote another comment where I explained everything. The third thing that upset me, is that people don't like my plans. I thought that it would me cool and special to sing "Billionaire" in our graduation. It's the song of our class. Moreover it would create a positive and joyful mood, which would be great, cause probably everyone would be sad. First people were in for it, but today, when I asked, who would be willing to do the rap-part and only 2 people were willing to do that and I asked one of my classmate, who loves that song, why she don't want to sing, she saied, that it would be inappropriate, cause it's ceremonial thing and that song doesn't suit. She saied that some other estonian song would be better. Now there would be no song. Singing the usual and boring songs wouldn't be that great at all. Though, I gotta say that she was kind of right. But I still stand by my idea. I would have been really special like or class is. Why everything have to be always the same? Why can't we stand out the borderline? Why can't we be us? Well, I gotta think something new. I'd really like to make our graduation and us unforgettable. It just sad, that I'm the only one. I'm thinking more and more about our class. Yes, we're all friendly. Yes, I like the people from my class, they are really sweet and nice. But we don't do almost nothing. Even when we have some collective events, there're still a lot those, who don't come. We are all friends, but we don't have nothing special. :/


Tears are aomething people should keep themself. There's nothing wrong being emotional and open-minded, but crying and later telling others how the tears came out and all isn't necessary.


I feel like I'm nothing special, and it's really sad. I'm invisible. Gosh, how much I wan't to go to Sweden, where my family is. They really truly like me. They see my bright sides. They make me feel good about myself. They love me. Now most people make me feel like I'm the worst human-being. Like everything is do, I do wrong.

I gotta leave, I gotta go,
there’s nothing here for me no more
I gotta be free, I gotta be
somewhere that I can just be me.
and I run run runaway, run run runaway,
run run runaway, I runaway.

2 comments:

k2pik . ütles ...

Keep your head up :)

Ja tegelikult on Inception täpselt see film, mida sa unenägudega seoses vaatama pead ! See on muidu ka, üks parimaid filme vist mida ma näinud olen :)

Eveli ütles ...

Haa :D Ma vaatasin 10 mintsa sellest filmist ja hakkasin omaette mingit õudukat läpakast vaatama. Sõbrad vaatasid inceprionit edasi samal ajal kui ma tõmblesin kõrval. Aga eks tuleb kätte võtta ja süveneda sellesse :) Kui juba unenäod sees on seal... :P