Hope it's not too distractive that I'm writing in english and u'll keep reading stuff I write. I have to practise.


Best word characterizing last weeks is KINKY. First things sticks in throat, then "21st Century Sex", then positions, then people asking what lingery I'm wearing, then making weird videos, then "Lolita" with it's Humber Humbert who had sexual desires all the effing time. Like my friend said "Please do sexwash to my brain".

It's been crazily busy week. On Monday I felt awful cause I slept only 2 hours. I was in the middle of dreamland and reality. Right after school our class went to Vastseliina's boarding school. Our goal was to do some good. First most of us were quite scared. We thought they will dislike us and threw tomatos or sth at us :D I knew from the start that even if they behave ill, they aren't bad. The more we got to know them, the more I started to like them. When we asked what they want for christmas, thay saied that smoke and such.. Gosh, they were only 9 or 10. Seems like even if they have dreams, they don't believe that dreams can come true. Kids from that school didn't have any plans for the future. How could it be possible?? :/ Life has taken their dreams away. It was so unfair. Anyway I hope that I'll see them again soon.

I won't speak about things I had to do because of school this week, but I will talk about how happy I am, that I decided to go there and not some other school. I love my people. Even some teachers are great! Especially my german teacher :D Gosh, she's so funny! We'll make a party in the last german class. Next week on Wednesday. Can't wait!! And my classmates. Oh damn, they are heaven sent!

I haven't sleep normally for so long time. My usual sleephours extends 2-3 hours. What the hell is wrong with me? :D Luckyly the chistmas holiday starts soon.

I love it when you say "got ya". Ur voice and the way u nod ur head... gosh!

In the absence of the sun you will shine and burn and blaze.