First days of the new year have been great and so will be all others :) From the first seconds I knew that 2011 will surely be the best I ever had. I'm gonna graduate. 3 months left with my sweet class. My classmates are like my brothers and sisters. I love them! I'll never forget them and in the beginning I'll probably miss them terribly but I hope I won't be too sad. Life goes on and I have so many good days ahead. Better enjoy each day. People come and people go. Some stay and be close to you forever, somes path moves away from urs. It's important to learn how to let go.

I love living. Sometimes I don't like myself but lukyly these days are rare. My friends love me and I love them. What else matters? My future plans are great! I don't worry too much. I believe that next year at the same time I'll be in Sweden with my family. It doesn't matter where I live. When I'm with them, I'm always home. They just moved to a bigger apartment in Morgongova. It's a much better location than where their former apartment were (in Runhällen). Morgongova is closer to Uppsala. Gosh, I even like the name of that place more :D

I love Kertu!

My dear friend had to write for english class about a friend and she wrote about me. Here it is.

"The person who i´m going to talk about has tought me alot in my life. I could say that she has been my mentor-like she has gave me a lot of importnat toughts to think about.

I met her accidentaly couple of years ago in Rakvere, while she was visiting her boyfriend here. At first she was shy and didn´t even want to look staright into my eyes, but some days later i used internet to get contact with her. She was gracefully suprised to see me wanting to be her friend. Days passed and we started to become closer with every word-it felt like we have so much in common and we had some much to discuss about: people, feelings, relationships, policies, communication...

As well as she has great personality, she shines with happy smile always i´ve met her. The most beautiful thing about her are her almond shaped green eyes what are fitting perfectly with her long slightly streaked blonde hair. She usually wears her hair in ponytale and she doesen´t have a fringe. Her face looks thin and she is fairish. Her pencil thin eyebrows are shaping perfeclty her face and are bringing out her natural beauty. Compeared to me she is about 5 cm taller than i am. Altough she has a great slim figure and tall legs she isn´t wearing skirts a lot but i am quit sure that she would look stunning in skirts and dresses. As all of students she likes to wear casual and comfotable close: like close-fitting blue jeans, different patterned top´s and low-heeled shoes or low-heeled boots. Looking her dresscode i must say that her favourte colours must be green, brown and blue.

Like in the beginning i already started describing her shiny personality i must continue it. As i sayd before, i love everything about her. She can hear all of my problems and give them fair assay. There were also times when we could sit in computer and chat about diffrent topics about 5 hours successively and we didn´t feel bored at all. We had perfect confidence to eachother and when one of us had a problem we could give eachothers a call even in the night time. I also think that we gave eachother support in diffrent situatsions what we had to face in life. Sometimes it felt like we were completeing each other in themes what we at first didn´t know much at all.

But listening and solving the probloms isn´t really all that my firned is good at. She loves sport-especially judo and she was good at it in several years. Unfortunately she injured herself couple of years ago in judo and she has had many surgerys with her knee-but it isn´t as good as it was years ago and makes pain. That is also the reason why she had to gave up judo. But i must say that her love towards judo hasn´t left her, she is still going to competitions with her friends and she is cheering for them.

In conclusion i must say that it is hard to put in words what my friend has gave to me. I feel so lucky that i even met her and hopefully she can say the same things about me. "

Wasn't it sweet? She's so so cute! And I'm also very glad that I met her. There were times when we talked every day. She was my favourite girl and I enjoyed having a conversation with her. It's a pitty that she lives so far away, but like it sayed 'far from distance, near to heart'. Sad that we haven't spoke last year as much as she deserves but I'll make it up to u honey! See u in christmas. Mein Stern! I love u :)

Hope it's not too distractive that I'm writing in english and u'll keep reading stuff I write. I have to practise.


Best word characterizing last weeks is KINKY. First things sticks in throat, then "21st Century Sex", then positions, then people asking what lingery I'm wearing, then making weird videos, then "Lolita" with it's Humber Humbert who had sexual desires all the effing time. Like my friend said "Please do sexwash to my brain".

It's been crazily busy week. On Monday I felt awful cause I slept only 2 hours. I was in the middle of dreamland and reality. Right after school our class went to Vastseliina's boarding school. Our goal was to do some good. First most of us were quite scared. We thought they will dislike us and threw tomatos or sth at us :D I knew from the start that even if they behave ill, they aren't bad. The more we got to know them, the more I started to like them. When we asked what they want for christmas, thay saied that smoke and such.. Gosh, they were only 9 or 10. Seems like even if they have dreams, they don't believe that dreams can come true. Kids from that school didn't have any plans for the future. How could it be possible?? :/ Life has taken their dreams away. It was so unfair. Anyway I hope that I'll see them again soon.

I won't speak about things I had to do because of school this week, but I will talk about how happy I am, that I decided to go there and not some other school. I love my people. Even some teachers are great! Especially my german teacher :D Gosh, she's so funny! We'll make a party in the last german class. Next week on Wednesday. Can't wait!! And my classmates. Oh damn, they are heaven sent!

I haven't sleep normally for so long time. My usual sleephours extends 2-3 hours. What the hell is wrong with me? :D Luckyly the chistmas holiday starts soon.

I love it when you say "got ya". Ur voice and the way u nod ur head... gosh!

In the absence of the sun you will shine and burn and blaze.

I forgot to say, that I love my psychology teacher. She's the only teacher who says we're wonderful and remembers it to us in every class we have with her. She's great! Most teachers say's only negative things. And I think they're incorrect most time.



What if you have only a week left. 7 days and then you're gone for good. What would you do with your remaining time?
When I had only a week, I'd like to spend it with my friends. Those who live right here, and those who are far far away. I'll make my dreams come true. I'll swim with dolphins, dance all night, find my magic man and do some more things.. Sorry, it's too embarrassing to tell it here. No, not embarrassing, but too personal.
Then I wonder, why don't I do all these things right now? Why can't I live my dreams every single day? I could have heaven right here on the earth..



I saw a shooting star the day before yesterday. I felt like it saied to me that everything's gonna be alright. :)

The day before yesterday I had a little crises with my selfesteem. Gosh, how bad it was. People should learn how to love themselves, 'cause they are absolutelly perfect just the way you are. Like in that song of Bruno Mars. Actually I didn't like, that the girl in the video was so gorgeous. Her appearance truly was perfect. It just seemed to be little fake. I would have liked it much more if there wasn't have been so pretty girl.
For me, just to clear it up, perfect doesn't mean that you have to be flawless. Not at all. :)
Anyway me and my selfesteem, we're cool now. :) Stupid me :D



Do you like christmas? And snow? And the peacefulness? I, for example, do. I'd like to have a silence day soon. Then I'm not allowed to talk during the whole day :D Think I'm capable of that. I like to experiment. Think after silence day I appreciate much more the opportunity of talking with my friends whenever I'd like to.
Yeah, christmas is cool :) My mother, little sister and brother comes to Estonia for christmas. That's so great!



I have curly hair today. Seems, like my friends liked it. BUT DON'T CALL ME A BARBIE. I'M NOT PLASTIC. Wanna touch? :D Anyway I had some nice compliments and it made me feel good.

People, compliment each other! Try to see the best of others and let them know how good they are.



Oh, and if here're mistakes, be free to correct me :)